100 Titles
by whitetyger123
Summary: There was a thing with 100 titles, so I used the titles for this story. MattxMello, with some NearxMello at the end. Really angsty, watch out! R&R! Rated T just in case.
1. Introduction

**Introduction**

**Disclaimer: This will go for all the chapters. I don't own Death Note.**

**So, my friend found a thing where they gave 100 titles for drawings. So, we thought, why not use them for stories? She will be trying this, too. So, here it is! There will be 100 chapters, so be warned!**

_Introduction - That part of a book or discourse which introduces or leads the way to the main subject, or part; preliminary; matter; preface; proem; exordium._

Matt liked Wammy's House. Yu always had a full stomach, a warm place to sleep, and people who cared for you. Another reason Matt loved Wammy's was that Mello was there.

They were roommates, and no one cared that they had moved both their single beds together to make a double bed. No one cared that they slept together every night. No one cared that he woke up in Mello's arms every morning.

No one except Matt and Mello.

Matt woke up. He felt secure and safe in Mello's arms. It was a haven for him that he never wanted to give up, no matter what.

He stayed still, not wanting to wake up Mello. If he didn't move, Mello would stay sleeping, and Matt could stay in his arms. This wonderful feeling could go on for at least one more hour. After that, they would have to get up to go to class. But until then, Matt could stay in Mello's arms.

**Ok, sorry that it's really short, but there will be 100 chapters, so they will all probably be short. Also, this is the introduction, they are almost always short. Hope you liked it! And... reviews? Please?**


	2. Love

**Love**

**So, just to let everyone know, in my mind this story goes along with my other MelloxMatt story; Because of a Prank. This is just in my mind, though. There will be no references to it in the story, it's just that I like the idea of them becoming friends like they do in Because of a Prank.**

_Love - Affection; kind feeling; friendship; strong liking or desire; fondness; good will; -- opposed to hate; often with of and an object._

Matt went up to Mello after class. 'Mello, I have something to give you.'

'Ok, can you give it to me later? After supper.'

Mello went off to eat. Matt just went to the room. He didn't eat that much, anyway, so he hardly ever went to supper.

When he got to their room, he sat on the bed. He had the present in his hand, ready to give to Mello. He hopped he would like it. He had no clue if he would or not, but when Matt had seen it he had known that he had to give it to Mello.

After about a half an hour, Mello entered. 'So, what did you want to give me?'

Matt held out the box. Mello opened it to find a rosary. 'Thanks, Matt. What's the occasion?'

Matt smiled. 'The occasion is I love you.' Love is strange. It made no sense, much like that sentence.

Mello hugged Matt. Matt could tell right away that Mello would probably never wear it, but he was still happy. He was happy because his love hugged him. See what I mean about love being strange?

Mello whispered in Matt's ear. 'I love you, too.' He put the rosary back in the box and placed it under the bed. Then he crawled into said bed and took out a book. Matt started playing a game. This didn't show their love, but they would make up for it later, when Matt lay in Mello's arms.

**Next chapter: Light**


	3. Light

Light

**Light**

**I know the title is Light, but that is just the title. It has nothing to remotely do with Light Yagami. He doesn't even come in the story for a very long time. If I had my way he would never come in at all, but, alas, it's really hard to come up with a consistent story line for 100 chapters without at least a little Light in it. Anyway, enough with my ranting, let's get on with the story!**

Light - Prosperity; happiness; joy; felicity.

Matt played a game on his PSP. He was currently outside, having a smoke. He hated it outside, but Mello had dragged him there so that he could watch his game of soccer. He was quite good at it, if a bit ruthless. The ball bounced off one of the kids head, and he started complaining. But, he was on Mello's team, so it's not like he would tell him to get out of the game or anything. Mello was the only reason they were winning.

The sun was right overhead. It was much lighter than Matt was used to, huddled up in front of a computer screen. He didn't like all the light, so he put his goggles on. They didn't do much for the light, but they hid his eyes from everyone else.

Somehow there was a connection to the light, but he was too preoccupied with his game and watching Mello play.

A girl sat beside him. 'Hey, you're Matt, right?'

'Yup.' He replied without even looking up.

'And, you're friends with Mello... right?'

Matt smirked. Yes, he was technically _friends_ with Mello. Although, he stopped calling his relationship with Mello "friends" since they had first made out. But he wouldn't be telling _her_ that. 'Yup.' She seemed a little frustrated by his one-word answers. Tough. He didn't care about her anyway, so why should he bother to make actual sentences?

'Well, I was wondering if you could, uh, get me a date with him.'

Matt paused his game. 'You want me to get you a date with him? Why would I ever do that?' She seemed confused. 'Look, if you want to go out with Mello, just ask him yourself. He doesn't like people who don't do things themselves.' Oh, how he hopped he was there to see her ask Mello. It would be absolutely hilarious, watching in horror as he told her politely that he was dating the very man she had asked for help.

Mello was like that. He didn't care who knew that he was dating Matt. He also loved seeing the faces of people being totally horrified when he started making out with Matt right in front of them to prove his point.

Matt was sure he loved Mello. He had known it for a while. So had Mello. Their relationship right now was perfect.

But, Matt knew that the old saying 'It gets darker before getting lighter' was also true the reverse way. Before the darkness was light.

**Next chapter: Dark**


	4. Dark

**Dark**

_Dark - causing dejection; "a blue day"; "the dark days of the war"; "a week of rainy depressing weather"; "a disconsolate winter landscape"; "the first dismal dispiriting days of November"; "a dark gloomy day"; "grim rainy weather"_

Matt walked to his and Mello's room. It had been a long day, and he couldn't wait for it to end. To be held in Mello's arms.

He hadn't seen Mello ever since he had gotten taken to Roger's office with Near. It's not like this was the first time for that to happen, though. In fact, it happened almost twice every month, at least.

When he got back to the room, he didn't see his roommate. His boyfriend. He must not have gotten back yet. All of his things were still there, everything just where it had been in the morning.

Matt pulled out his PSP and started absentmindedly playing a game. When he heard a sound on the other side of the closed door, Matt looked up, expecting Mello. But no one came in.

Instead, he saw a paper on the door. He hadn't seen it before, but now he walked up to it and read what it said.

_Matt,_

_I'm leaving._

_Near won... for now. But I will win eventually._

_I'm sorry I have to leave, but this is all I can think of doing. Where I'm going, you can't come._

_If I get out of this alive, I will see you again. But I won't involve you. That is a promise._

_Don't worry about me!_

_Mello_

Matt couldn't believe what he was seeing. This had to be a joke. Any second now, Mello was going to come popping out of a corner, saying 'Gotcha!' or something similar. He wouldn't just leave like this.

He hadn't even taken his things.

That was truly what made Matt realize that this was no prank. Mello wouldn't just leave a clue this obvious. He would have made it look like he had rummaged around and taken the things he would need most. He wouldn't have an unfinished prank.

Matt didn't cry. How could he? Just leave without saying goodbye. It was horrible of him, but Matt knew that Mello would never say goodbye. It would hurt his pride too much.

Later, when Matt was going through Mello's things, getting rid of everything that reminded him of the blond, he did realize something _was_ missing. The rosary was gone. Of course, Mello had probably thrown it out the first chance he got. He was never a person for sentimental things. If he didn't like something, he wouldn't care who had given it to him. It was taking up needed space, and he didn't want it.

Matt wouldn't have been surprised if he had found it in some dumpster. Or maybe a pawn shop. Mello would have gotten some money for it. Why had he even bothered to give it to him? There had been no reason. It didn't change the fact that Mello had left. He was gone, without even saying goodbye.

The bastard.

**Next chapter: ****Seeking Solace**


	5. Seeking Solace

**Seeking Solace**

_Seeking - To go in search of; to look for; to search for; to try to find._

_Solace - To allay; to assuage; to soothe; as, to solace grief._

_The comfort you feel when consoled in times of disappointment; "second place was no consolation to him"_

**Sorry, I just had to put the last one there, about being second. I couldn't help it.**

Matt was going crazy. He didn't think that life without Mello would be this hard, this aggravating. What had he done before he had known him? Surely it had not been this hard. How could anyone live without Mello?

A little while after Mello left, Matt decided to go look for him. To go look for his sanity. For peace.

Never before would Matt have described life with Mello peaceful. But now, away from him, he knew that his mind would never let him live in peace again until he found him.

He left Wammy's late at night. He was only fourteen, so he knew they wouldn't let him leave if they had a choice. He brought his PSP and cigarettes. As a last thought, he also grabbed as much coffee equipment that could fit in his bag.

Before leaving, he snuck into Rogers office and took some money. He would need some if he was going to live alone. Well, if his plan worked, he wouldn't be alone.

He took about two hundred dollars. There was so much money in that safe, Roger probably wouldn't even notice.

Matt knew where the safe was because he had found it one time when he had been looking for cigarettes. It was simple to open. He had read something on cracking codes on the internet, and remembered all the steps. At the time he had never thought he would need to use it.

.oOo.

He didn't have a picture, but the description was good enough. A 15year-old boy wearing all black, with blond hair that curled at the bottom, making him look slightly girlish. He also added that he had a short temper.

One homeless guy said he had seen him, but Matt's hopes were bashed when he added that he had been with Santa Clause and Jesus. Besides him, no one had seen him.

Matt had no clue where to start. Mello could be anywhere.

He remembered that Mello had always had a fascination for New York, so Matt bought a bus ticket for there. One way.

After a week of asking around, Matt wasn't any closer to finding Mello. To finding peace. To finding solace.

**Next chapter: Break Away**


	6. Break Away

**Break Away**

_Break - interrupt a continued activity; "She had broken with the traditional patterns"__  
_

Matt sighed as he looked out the window of the city bus. It had been two and a half months, and still no Mello. He had eventually gotten a job at MacDonald's, which is where he was headed now. He had recently hacked into police files, but none of the criminals listed there even remotely resembled Mello. It had been his last hope.

He was so preoccupied with thinking that he didn't even notice a girl sit beside him.

'You look deep in thought.'

Matt turned around at the voice. It belonged to a girl roughly his age, with brown hair, gray eyes, and a nice smile. Her hair was a little frizzy, but she was still kinda cute.

He laughed. 'Ya, I'm trying to find someone.'

'Well, there are a lot of people in the world. It could be difficult trying to find just one.'

Like he didn't know that already. Mello might be in Japan for all he knew! The only reason Matt was looking here was because Mello liked New York. He had no evidence at all, just a hunch.

She kept talking. 'Have you ever wanted to tell someone about a movie, but can't remember the name? No matter how hard you try, you just can't think of it. Then, when you have totally forgotten about it, it comes to you?'

Matt shook his head. 'I don't watch that many movies.'

'A word, then. But the point is, only when you stop looking for it is when it comes to you.'

Matt pondered this for a moment. He knew that she wasn't really talking about a movie or a word. Well, would it work? If he stopped looking for Mello, could Mello possibly find him? It was probably the only thing Matt hadn't tried yet. Maybe he would give it a shot.

He spoke with the girl until he had to get off. He found out her name was Alyssa and she was headed for school. Matt sighed. He had given up school when he left Wammy's. Now, his future was just about cut in half. He hadn't truly realized it before, but now that he had actually given it a shot, finding a job without completing school was difficult. That's why he was at McDonalds. They took anybody.

As he got off the bus and headed into the grease infested area, he sighed. This is what his life would be like from now on. No more looking for Mello; no more blindly hoping he was gonna find him on a street corner somewhere. Now, only work, smoking, and video games.

Then he saw a guy wearing all black. He didn't feel the usual rush of excitement, just to be replaced by crushing disappointment. Maybe there was hope for him, after all.

He was breaking away from Mello, starting new. Who knew, he might still get somewhere with his life. Now he would have more time to look for a better job. Then he wouldn't be living in a run down apartment in the worst place in town.

Mello wouldn't be holding him down anymore.

**Next chapter: Heaven**


	7. Heaven

**Heaven**

_Heaven - To place in happiness or bliss, as if in heaven; to beatify._

A month after deciding to give up on Mello, Matt found himself waiting for the same bus as always. Going to the same job, with the same pay, living in the same apartment. He hadn't found any place that would hire him for more than he was already making.

The bus came and he got on. As usual, Alyssa was on already. He took his usual seat beside her.

'Hey, you look bummed.' Talking with her was sometimes like getting killed with a baseball bat. Blunt force trauma. She could be more blunt than he himself could be.

'Just my job. I need a better one.'

'You wouldn't need a better one if you stopped smoking.' She laughed. He laughed with her. It felt good to be joking like this. It's not like he would _actually_ give up smoking, but she had a point.

'Anyway,' she said when the laughing died down. 'I was wondering if you would want to go to the movies, or something.'

He raised an eyebrow, which was difficult with the goggles. 'Like, on a date?'

'Ya. I would pay, considering I still live with my parents and don't have to pay rent or anything.'

He shrugged. 'Sure. When?'

Alyssa looked relieved. 'I don't know, whenever you're free.'

.oOo.

They went to go see a gory, sci-fi, scary movie. Alyssa picked. They had, apparently, the same taste in movies.

They went to a different movie the next week. Then they decided to be boyfriend-girlfriend. Matt laughed. It was so different from when he dated Mello. It was like heaven to finally be dating again. And Alyssa was just like him.

He felt like he was living again. It's not like he didn't still have money troubles, but now at least he had something to look forward to.

**Next chapter: Innocence**


	8. Innocence

**Innocence**

_Innocence - The state or quality of being morally free from guilt or __sin; purity of heart; blamelessness._

Mello Mello Mello. Why wouldn't he get out of his head? He was always there, somewhere. Matt wanted to forget him, but he couldn't, no matter what.

He was waiting for the bus when he saw a couple guy's doing some kind of drug. Matt didn't pay any attention at first, until one of them said something. 'Man, I've done so much of this stuff, I can't even remember what I was trying to forget!'

Forget?

The bus pulled up, and he sat beside Alyssa, giving her a kiss.

Ten minutes later, he told her. 'I want to try drugs.'

'What? Why? They will seriously mess you up, Matt.'

He knew he shouldn't have told her, but he couldn't help it. He wanted her opinion. But she was too innocent. She hadn't felt like this. She shouldn't have a say.

'Matt, please don't try drugs.' The look in her eyes was serious.

He sighed. 'Ok, I wont.' He unconsciously crossed his fingers in his pockets.

'Promise?'

Matt closed his eyes behind his goggles. He could hold off... unless it got worse.

'Come on, Matt! All this for a guy who threw you away? You deserve better.'

'Fine, I promise.' Unless it gets worse. Right now it was manageable with smoking and games. Right now he could handle it.

Alyssa's smile was nothing if not innocent. She didn't know. How could she? She had lived a sheltered life, at home with her parents. She would never know this feeling. She would forever be innocent. The world needed more innocent people.

**Sorry it's short! I guess I'm just not that into writing angst today.**

**Next chapter: Drive**


	9. Drive

**Drive**

_Drive - to operate (a vehicle) while it is in motion, by manipulating the controls, such as the steering, propulsion, and braking mechanisms._

Matt got in his car, turning it on. Thoughts of blonds and chocolates filled his mind.

It felt nice to be on the road, going as fast as he could. He felt the power behind it. This thing could easily kill someone, just like Mello was slowly killing him.

It had been about a year since he had started dating Alyssa. It had been pretty good so far, but her opinion on drugs never changed. Could he not do them? Smokes would only last so long. They didn't let him forget. Alcohol let him feel free for a while, but not forever. Nothing could stop this pain forever.

What had provoked this particular surge in the Mello department was seeing a rosary, exactly like the one he had given Mello just before he left. The one Mello had probably thrown out. A kid who was eating chocolate was looking at it. After that Matt had gotten behind the wheel. That was now two hours ago.

He had thought he had gotten better. He hadn't had an episode for a month, but that was probably because Alyssa was worried about him so she made sure she took up all his time. But today she had been called in for work, so they couldn't go to the movies like they had planned.

Alyssa was great, but sometimes Matt was awed at her innocence. If he did any hard drugs and she found out, she would probably dump him. When she found out that he had done weed she hadn't spoken to him for a week, and that was weed! Everyone did weed. What was the big deal?

She had said 'I love you' about a month and a half before. It came as a complete shock to the red-head. He said it back, and at the time he had believed it. Now he wasn't so sure.

She was great, but she was no Mello.

Maybe he should start heading back. He was probably lost by now. He had driven for the past two hours. It was nice, just driving like he had no care in the world. Maybe he would drive more often.

**Next chapter: Breathe Again**

**So, I didn't want them to be dating for a year already, but I wanted the fact that Matt can drive a little more realistic. Oh well, it doesn't mess up my plan or anything.**


	10. Breathe Again

**Breathe Again**

**I am sooo sorry that I haven't updated in forever! I was reading Brisinger and wanted to finish it before anyone could ruin the ending for me! So, I just finished it this morning, and can now ruin the ending for everyone else! Lol, jk. Oh, and drugs are bad.**

_Breathe - To suffer to take breath, or recover the natural breathing; to rest; as, to breathe a horse._

_Again - In return, back; as, bring us word again._

To forget is both a curse and a blessing. To one of old age, it is a curse, brought on by their body slowly breaking down. But, to one in a situation like a certain red-head, forgetting is the best thing in the world.

When he had stopped driving, he had no clue where he was, but he was drawn by the sounds of a party. There, they let him forget. For the first time in a long time, Matt could breathe again.

No more pictures of blond hair ran through his mind, clogging it to capacity. In fact, the only blond in his mind right then was the one giving him the drugs. She was even wearing black, and it didn't make him think about long nights spent in a different person's bed, hoping they wouldn't be caught.

For a second Matt wondered what would happen if Alyssa found out, but soon that was also forgotten. There was only the here and now, no past, no future.

The music and the drugs worked together to make him dance with strangers, moving randomly to the sounds around him.

Eventually the party came to a close. He didn't remember how he had gotten home, but soon he found himself on his doorstep, looking for his keys. He didn't find them, but the door opened, revealing Alyssa.

Had he not been so screwed up at the time, Matt might have noticed the tear trails on her cheeks, but as it was, he wouldn't have cared even if he had noticed them.

'Matt? What's wrong with you? Where have you been? Are you high?'

**Next chapter: Memory**


	11. Memory

**Memory**

_Memory - The time within which past events can be or are remembered; as, within the memory of man._

When Matt woke up, he was on a couch. He looked around and saw Alyssa sitting on a chair.

'You're awake? Good. What were you thinking? You have an addictive personality, why would you do that?'

Matt almost laughed. Of course he had an addictive personality! He was addicted to games, cigarettes, coffee, Mello... Dammit! He wasn't supposed to add the last part!

Now the memories came back. For the couple hours that they had left when he was high, they made up for it now. The first time they met, Matt the geeky new introverted kid, Mello the cool popular kid who was forced to share a room with him. The first time they became friends, both forced to be in the same room for detention because they were fighting. The first time they kissed...

Alyssa was talking again. 'I can't even talk to you! Matt, are you listening?'

No, he wasn't listening. He ran to the bathroom and locked the door. He needed to get away. He turned the water on hot in the shower and jumped in, still with his clothes on. The scalding water poured over his face and body, but it didn't wash away the memories. Now he just remembered the times when he and Mello showered together. Was there no escape?

He vaguely heard Alyssa pounding on the door, but he didn't care. All he cared about right now was getting away from the taunting memories. They flooded his brain as completely as the drugs had emptied it. The feeling of only here and now mattered was all gone. He was remembering the past and worrying about the future. How could he go on like this? Was it possible?

Was anything possible?

**Ok, sorry it's short, I'm just not feeling very angsty tonight. Maybe next chapter will be better.**

**Next chapter: Insanity **


	12. Insanity

**Insanity**

_Insanity - The state of being insane; unsoundness or derangement of mind; madness; lunacy._

**A/N Sooooo... I'm feeling kinda angsty right now, listening to some angsty songs, so I decided to write this chapter. Also, just as with the drugs, cutting is bad, children. Don't try what you are about to see at home. These are trained professionals. Ok, so I'm gonna shut up now so you can get on to the show! ...Er... story...**

Matt was about to get out of the shower when his wet sock slipped on the floor. He fell, hitting his head hard on the wall in the process. Pain blossomed there, and when he touched it and brought his hand away, he saw blood. He could still see and everything, and there wasn't a lot of blood, so he figured he was fine. Even so, it still hurt.

As the pain slowly went away and the blood washed down the drain, Matt realized something. He hadn't thought of Mello when he had been worrying about the pain.

An idea occurred to him. If he didn't think about Mello when he was feeling pain...

He looked around for something sharp. His eyes fell on his shaving razor. That would work. He grabbed it and brought it to his wrist. Hesitating only a fraction of a second, he slid it across his pale flesh, drawing a red line upon the white, soon being washed away from the hot water.

Matt closed his eyes, reveling in the sensation. He didn't like the pain, but that was the whole point. Now he wasn't thinking about... him. His brain was fixed on the pain, and only the pain. Perhaps this was insane, but no more than he would be if he was forced to think and remember a moment more.

Why hadn't he thought about this before? Such a simple solution to his problems. Ok, so not a solution, but certainly a substitution.

The pain started to fade, so Matt repeated the process.

Ok, so he was insane. But, if everyone in the world was sane, what would we have? A truly sane, boring world is what we would have, and who wants that? Insane people make the world go round.

With the third cut, Matt started laughing, thinking the whole time about how crazy this would look if someone walked in. Sitting in the shower, in his clothes, cutting himself and laughing like a maniac. He didn't really care, though, because he was escaping the mental pain with physical pain.

Matt stopped at three cuts. He would remember this way of forgetting, though. He would probably use it the next time his memory plagued him.

He got out of the shower and got a dry set of clothing that was in the bathroom. Making sure his sleeve covered the newly acquired cuts, Matt left the room to find a very pissed Alyssa waiting for him.

**Next chapter: Misfortune**


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